I am sharing some of my more vulnerable moments to show that waiting until you hit rock bottom is not a plan. It is exhausted avoidance. There are accessible ways to put down some of the weight and stop the spiral.

I have navigated the exhaustion of professional burnout (I do not recommend it) and I live the daily reality of being a SEND parent, a life that is as full of joy as it is of constant juggling. Take it from someone who learned the hard way: you do not have to wait until you hit a crisis point before you start making changes.

What I realised eventually is that these changes have to start from the inside. We often try to fix the load by attempting to redesign the world around us or frantically shedding external responsibilities (goodbye committees), but the real shift happens when we address the internal weight first.

Prevention is Better Than Repair

There is a common misconception that you only turn to things like journal therapy when the wheels have completely fallen off. We treat mental health support like a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency box: we wait for the meltdown, the burnout, or for the floor to tilt before we allow ourselves a tool to process it.

But journal therapy is not just a fire extinguisher.

It is for the people who are currently, quietly, holding everything together. It is for the ones who are managing the schedules, the emotional climate of the home, and the invisible load, only to realise they are slowly running out of hands.

Sound familiar?

The High-Functioning Trap

I know this space well. For years, I lived in the space of “I am fine, I am just busy.” I was not in a crisis, so I did not think I needed support.

But here is the truth I had to learn the hard way: you can be coping and still be drowning.

Share

The Quiet Hum of Burnout

In our noisy, constantly switched-on age, burnout does not always look like a dramatic collapse. Often, it is a slow, creeping wearing away. Professionally, we are expected to be infinitely accessible; personally, we are navigating a digital world that never sleeps. We are constantly over-stimulated, our nervous systems humming with the low-level anxiety of a thousand unread notifications and shoulds.

This is not just about being tired: it is about a total depletion of mental bandwidth. When you are always on, you lose the ability to hear your own thoughts above the noise. You become a passenger in your own life, reacting to everyone else’s demands rather than acting on your own needs. Writing for wellbeing acts as a circuit breaker for this constant loop.

Externalising the Load

When we are quietly holding it together, our thoughts tend to loop. We ruminate on the shoulds, the what-ifs, and the endless to-do lists. This is not just stressful; it is biologically draining. Journal therapy provides a safe, private place to externalise that load. It is about taking the tangled mess of running out of hands and putting it onto a surface where it can stay.

Sometimes it is simply a witness. Just naming the fact that you are tired is enough to lower your heart rate.

I Have Been There

If you are sitting there thinking, “I do not have time to journal, I have too much to do,” I hear you. I have been there. I have walked home the long way in the rain because it was the only opportunity I had for a proper break.

Reflective writing is not another task for your to-do list. It is the tool that makes the to-do list feel manageable. It is about five minutes of honesty that saves you two hours of overthinking.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop trying to hold it all together and finally put the load on the page.

Journal therapy is a practical tool for processing the load, not an aesthetic hobby or a "Dear Diary" situation. There's nothing wrong with journaling that way, far from it, but what I offer is different.

If you're new here and want to understand what journal therapy actually is before diving into the logistics, you can read my introductory post here.

Today I want to debunk some of the journaling myths that are often barriers to making journal therapy accessible. Before you consider joining a guided journaling session or pick up a workbook, we need to look at the logistics and answer some of the most frequently asked questions.

The Aesthetics - No Washi Tape Here

When people think about journaling, they often imagine a leather-bound book, perfect cursive, and a candlelit room. In reality, my practice looks more like a messy desk, a pen that’s running out of ink, and handwriting that was once compared to, “…a spider falling in a ink pot and running across the page”.

If you love the feel of a good pen on 160 gsm paper, and it brings you joy, go for it. Please, however, don’t think that you need fancy journals or notebooks to benefit from journal exercises and reflective writing.

Why Messy is Better

The biggest hurdle for most people is the ghost of their primary school English teacher (yes you, Mrs Bichen). We have been conditioned to believe that if we are writing, we are being graded.

The truth is this: In journal therapy, spelling, grammar, and punctuation do not exist. If you spend your time worrying about a semi-colon, you aren’t listening to your own head. We are looking for internal data, not a debut novel. If your writing is a scrawled, incoherent mess of half-sentences and notes, you’re doing it right.

Raw is always better than polished.

The Hardware: Pen vs. Laptop

I am often asked if you must use a physical notebook.

There is a biological benefit to writing by hand. The physical act of forming letters slows down the pre-frontal cortex, allowing you to process emotions at a pace your nervous system can handle. Typing is fast; handwriting is intentional.

However, accessibility trumps perfection. I am the first to admit that paper isn’t for everyone. For someone who is dyspraxic, a pen can be a barrier, not a tool. If the physical act of writing causes you pain, frustration, or a sensory issue use a laptop. If you need to use speech-to-text, do it. The goal is to get the shoulds out of your head and onto a surface.

Use the tool that allows you to be the most honest.

Privacy & Safety: The Fire Alarm

Journal therapy is about externalising, getting the heavy stuff out so you can look at it. This requires two things: Privacy and Safety.

• Privacy: Your journal is your office of the mind. If you’re worried someone will read it, you’ll start performing. Find a drawer with a key, a password-protected file, or, my personal favourite, the burn after reading method (or shredding).

• Safety: I always say that mindfulness is a fire alarm, not a sedative. If you start writing and things feel too loud or heavy, that is the alarm doing its job. You have absolute permission to stop, close the book, and walk away. You are the one in charge of the volume.
  

The Guided Experience: What Actually Happens?

If you’ve never sat in a guided group session, the idea of doing it on Zoom can feel daunting. Here is the breakdown of how I run my 90-minute Deep Dives:

1. The Arrival (Cameras ON): We land in the room and I set the framework. We are a small group (max 8), so it feels like a private room, not a crowded webinar.

2. The Deep Work (Cameras OFF): Once the writing starts, the cameras and mics go off. This is vital. You are in your own space, held by the collective silence of the group. I provide the prompts; you provide the honesty.

3. The Integration: We come back together at the end to “close the mental office door.” You are never asked to read your private words out loud. We witness the practice, not the content.

4. The Landing: I stay on for an extra 20 minutes for anyone who needs to decompress before they head back into their evening.
   

Journal Therapy FAQs:

• Do I need to be a “good writer”? No. You just need to be a good observer. If you can write a shopping list, you can do journal therapy.

• What if I have nothing to say? Then we start there. We write: “I am sitting here with nothing to say.” Usually, the shoulds are hiding right behind that sentence.

• Is this the same as “Morning Pages”? Not quite. Morning Pages are a stream of consciousness; my sessions use specific frameworks (like the Needs Audit) to target specific areas of thinking.

• What if I get emotional? That’s the work. We don’t fix the emotion; we name it, look at it, and decide if it belongs to us or if it’s a “should” we’ve been carrying for someone else.

• Are they all group sessions? Not at all. There are many ways to access journal therapy support. I offer guided group sessions, 1:1 sessions, workbooks and will shortly be launching self-paced courses, giving you the opportunity to work through exercise in your own time and a your own pace.

Accessing Journal Therapy Beyond Group Work: Finding What Works For You

While the guided group sessions offer the unique collective silence of writing together, or witnessing as I call it, they are not the only way to do this work. Journal therapy is, at its heart, a deeply personal practice that must fit into your actual, messy life.

Whether you prefer the intimacy of a 1:1 session, the structure of a workbook, or the flexibility of a self-paced course (which I will be launching very soon), the goal remains the same: to give you the opportunity to work through these exercises in your own time and at your own pace.

The Next Step

If you are ready to move from the how to the doing, you can join my mailing list below. I’ll send you my free reflective guides to get you started, and you’ll be the first to know when the new courses and session dates are released.

Join the list & get free guides

Take it further

If you want a structured framework to map out your next steps, you can find my journal clarity workbook here and details for 1-1 journal therapy on my website nickicawood.co.uk

A Final Word on Safety

Journal therapy is a powerful tool for self-reflection and processing the load, but it is not a replacement for clinical mental health treatment. If you find that the “fire alarm” is ringing too loudly, or if you need immediate professional support, please reach out to the following services:

• Samaritans: Call 116 123 (Free, 24/7, UK and ROI)

• Mind: Call 0300 123 3393 (9am to 6pm, Mon to Fri) or text 86463

• Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 (Free, 24/7, UK-wide text service)

• Your GP: If you are struggling to cope, please make an appointment with your local GP.

If you are in immediate danger, please call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

Mindfulness is often presented as a way to escape a high-pressure life, but that is a misunderstanding of the practice.

Let’s be clear: mindfulness isn’t about giving up and rolling over. It’s about looking the situation dead in the eye.

In my Journal Therapy practice, mindfulness simply means seeing things exactly as they are, without the filtering lens of what they should be. It means acknowledging that your circumstances have shifted, or that your workload has become completely unsustainable, without calling yourself a failure for noticing it.

The Fire Brigade Principle

Acceptance does not mean you cannot make changes. In fact, you can only make effective changes once you stop fighting the reality of where you are.

Think of it this way: you see the house is on fire so you can call the fire brigade. You do not just sit in the smoke and hope for the best. A sedative would make you comfortable while the house burns down. Mindfulness is the fire alarm. It is the clarity you need to decide which door to walk through next.

Observation over Avoidance

We often mistake a lack of feeling for a state of calm. We scroll, we distract ourselves, or we tell ourselves to simply keep moving. We treat our stress as something to be silenced rather than data to be analysed.

Mindfulness is the opposite of this suppression. It is a clear and honest look at the internal and external noise. When we stop performing and start observing the reality of our situation, we reclaim our agency. We move from being overwhelmed by the noise to being the person who is documenting and managing it.

Share

The Reality Audit — A Journaling Exercise

If you want to stop sitting in the smoke hoping it will clear, try a Reality Audit. This is a practical, no-nonsense writing exercise to get whatever is crowding your head out onto the page.

• Step 1: Sit with the pen. Do not try to fix anything yet. Do not judge what comes out.

• Step 2: Take an honest inventory. Look at what is currently filling your mental space. What is the noise actually made of? Is it a should from work? A must from home? A lingering feeling of being completely overstretched?

  
  Note: This isn’t a standard to-do list dump. This is about identifying the emotional weight you are carrying that perhaps you don’t need to hold onto anymore.
  

• Step 3: Name the situation. Write it down without the shame, guilt, or anger. When we stick to the facts, we lower the volume of the distress. This is where the brave face ends and the actual solution begins.

What this looks like in practice: Meet Derek

To show you what I mean by naming the noise, here is a personal example.

I have Imposter Syndrome. I’ve decided to call it Derek.

I’ve named it because recognising that voice and giving it a name immediately removes it’s power. Derek likes to whisper that I shouldn’t have stepped back from my twenty-year copywriting business to move into the therapy sphere. He completely ignores the fact that I’ve been studying and quietly planning for years. Derek just feels he has a right to niggle at me.

The solution: I’m choosing not to listen to him anymore. Derek is being an ass. His opinion doesn’t matter.

After nearly twenty years of practising mindfulness, the biggest lesson I have learned is that it isn’t an all-or-nothing game. Most days it comes naturally now, but on the loud weeks, I still have to consciously remind myself to listen to the alarm instead of pretending “this is fine.”

You do not need a perfectly quiet mind to start. You just need to be willing to look at the smoke.


*No real Dereks were harmed in the writing of this article and Imposter Derek is not based on any real Derek. Derek was the first name I spotted when scrolling for a name. Apologies to any Derek who may have felt slighted before realising it isn’t personal, its just a name.

The Reality Audit: If you tried the exercise above, please leave a comment below or reply to this email to let me know what your noise was actually made of. Did you find the exercise useful?

Leave a comment

Take it further: If you want a structured framework to map out your next steps, you can find my journal clarity workbook here and details for 1-1 journal therapy on my website nickicawood.co.uk

There are often two images that come to mind when people hear the term journal therapy. The first is a teenager with a padlocked diary (I had one of these, sadly my sister had the same one with the same key….). The second is an elaborate art project involving stickers, washi tape and habit trackers.

While both have their place, neither of them is journal therapy.

Journal therapy is a practice born from the understanding that writing, when used with a specific structure, provides the internal clarity that many of us are currently missing. It is a method designed to help navigate overwhelm by using intentional frameworks to organise the mind.

A structured approach

Journal therapy is the purposeful use of writing to support mental and emotional wellbeing. It is not about documenting the day or producing something beautiful: it is writing with intention. It is guided by frameworks designed to help move from a state of stuckness to one of perspective and clarity.

The practice has its roots in the 1960s, having been developed by the psychologist Dr Ira Progoff. It has since become a recognised method used by practitioners worldwide. In the UK, specialists are accredited specifically in these reflective writing techniques to ensure the process remains grounded, practical, and effective.

While the core principles remain consistent, the way the practice is delivered can vary. My own approach integrates traditional journal therapy with elements of mindfulness, bibliotherapy, and narrative therapy to provide a broader range of tools for reflection.

The physiotherapy of writing

A common question is how this differs from simply keeping a notebook. A diary is a personal habit and is often a way to vent onto the page. This is valuable, but it does not always move you forward. Without a framework, journaling can sometimes keep you circling the same anxieties, problems and questions.

The difference is similar to the difference between going for a walk and seeing a physiotherapist. Walking is excellent for your health, but a physiotherapist designs a specific programme to target a particular point of tension. Journal therapy provides the structure to move past the repetitive loops that keep us stuck, using prompts that help you access insights that unstructured writing often misses.

Who is journal therapy for?

This practice is designed for those who often feel they have the least time for it.

This includes:

• Professionals dealing with burnout, or trying to avoid it. The kind where you are still functioning on the outside but running on empty underneath.

• People navigating personal transitions: Redundancy, loss, identity shifts, the moments where life changes faster than you can process it.

• Anyone looking to change their perspective, to grow, to get to know themselves and their situation better.

• SEND parents and carers managing the particular mental load that comes with advocacy, assessments, and a system that rarely considers your wellbeing alongside your child’s.

What Journal Therapy ISN’T: Professional boundaries

It is important to be clear that journal therapy is a non clinical practice. It does not replace therapy, counselling, or medical support. Instead, it is a structured reflective practice that sits alongside your daily life. It is a space for those who are carrying more than they can comfortably process alone and need a private way to find order.

If you are experiencing persistent anxiety or low mood, please do speak with your GP. Journal therapy works best as a complement to clinical support, not a substitute for it.

If you are curious about how a more structured approach to writing might help you find some clarity, there are some resources on my website (see below).

Nicki x

Free resources and starting points

If you are curious about how this works, there are several free resources available on my website (because who doesn’t like a freebie) that allow you to explore the practice in your own time:

The Resource Hub
This contains free checklists and prompts that address specific challenges, from burnout to the unique pressures of caring and SEND parenting.

A Free Journaling Guide For SEND Parents and Carers

A starting point:

The Clarity Workbook This offers a gentle introduction to therapeutic journaling without the need for a formal session. It provides a feel for how a structured approach differs from standard journaling.

The beauty of journaling and journal therapy is that you can take inspiration from so many wonderful sources. A regular go-to for me, I’m leaning into Japanese culture-inspired philosophies as the basis for this week’s journaling prompts.

I’ve adapted these Japanese concepts into 3 simple techniques to help navigate the internal noise. They aren’t meant to be perfect translations, but are aimed at helping you think and feel your way through the week in a different way.

Share

Japanese Wisdom for a Thoughtful Week

Use these techniques in any order on whichever day you feel drawn to one of them. These are a starting point. If you have more to write, keep on writing.

Yutori – Spaciousness: Yutori is the feeling of having enough space in your mind or schedule to not feel “tight.” If you could clear one mental “shelf” today, one worry or one to-do, to create a sense of Yutori, which one would you choose to set aside?

Example: I am waiting for news about an important application. It has me spending more time in my inbox than usual. Prompted by the idea of Yutori, I am letting it go for now. The email will come when it comes. That feels like a long and positive exhale. It was taking up more headspace than I realised.

Komorebi – Sunlight through Leaves: This is the word for the dappled light that filters through trees. Think of a shadowy or difficult time in your life. Where can you see the light filtering through? What is one small, beautiful thing that only exists because of the complexity of that shadow?

Example: Perhaps dealing with a bad manager forced you to quit a much-loved job; however, if you hadn’t, you would not be where you are now.

Fudoshin – The Immovable Mind: This is the state of staying calm in the face of a storm. When things feel chaotic this week, what is your centre? Describe a physical place or a mental image that represents your own internal ground that cannot be shaken.

Example: When I need a mental getaway my go-to is to visualise a special beach in Scotland. I can see the sandy path, the old wooden slats that form a pathway, the sea grasses and gorse to each side and over the top, Findhorn. I can see it, smell it, and hear it.

Notes for these exercises:

There is no wrong way to journal.

Spelling and grammar are irrelevant. The act of getting your thoughts out and onto paper is the goal here.

I’ve included some examples to help you get started. they may jog your memory or help with that blank page. If any of these prompts don’t call to you, skip them. This is about you and your wants and needs.

If you enjoyed these prompts take a look at these:

Here’s to a calm, happy and fulfilling week

Nicki x

In my work as a writer and a journal therapist, I spend a great deal of time thinking about labels. We use them to categorise our world, to make sense of chaos, and to find the right shelf for our experiences.

But sometimes, the labels we carry begin to feel less like a filing system and more like a weight. Whether that weight comes from a clinical diagnosis, a career title, or the roles we never asked for, the feeling is the same

To the SEND parents reading this: I see you. I see the invisible curriculum you study every day. I see the folder of evidence you carry to every meeting, the vigilance required to navigate systemic barriers, and the way you must constantly translate your child’s soul into the clinical language of provisions and outcomes. In the world of SEND parenting, you are often forced to become an advocate before you are allowed to be a person.

But this weight is not exclusive to one journey. Many of you reading this are carrying your own heavy folders. Perhaps you are navigating a health transition, managing the quiet exhaustion of professional burnout, or acting as a carer for an ageing parent. You might be the person who holds everything together for everyone else, while your own needs remain unaddressed.

Whether your label is Advocate, Carer, Patient, or Provider, the result is often the same: we become so busy managing the case of our lives that we lose sight of the human being at the centre of it.

In Narrative Therapy, there is a fundamental belief that the person is not the problem; the problem is the problem.

When we step away from the labels and the “shoulds”, we find a quiet space where we are allowed to simply exist. My journal has always been that space for me. It is the one place where I do not have to be Proper, or Productive, or Resilient. It is the place where I can just be me. Nicki. No other labels required.

A Prompt for the Quiet Moments

Regardless of which labels you are carrying right now, I invite you to take five minutes for yourself.

Identify one label that has felt particularly heavy this week. Write it at the top of a page. Beneath it, list three things about yourself that have nothing to do with that label.

Maybe you are a gardener. Maybe you are someone who makes excellent toast. Maybe you are a person who still remembers the lyrics to a song from 1984.

Remind yourself that you are more than the advocacy, more than the work, and more than the weight you carry. You are the author of the story, not just a character in the struggle.

With warmth,

Nicki x

*Originally posted on my Journal Therapy website, here.

Have you found yourself waiting for things to quieten down before you feel “allowed” to reclaim your own headspace?

When the noise of our responsibilities becomes a physical weight, our instinct is to look outward for something to rescue us. We wait for the pace to slow or the list to clear, forgetting that the most unshakeable progress often comes from small, ancient frameworks that help us reframe the weight we’re carrying.

This week I’ve put together some thoughts and prompts that may help you reframe that way of thinking and enable you to enjoy the moment or see it from a new perspective, even when chin-deep in responsibilities.

1. Mottainai - Respect for Resources

Mottainai is often associated with “waste not, want not,” but it’s really about acknowledging the spirit and value in the objects and resources around us.

• The Prompt: Look at your current “tools”, your laptop, your favorite pen, your workspace, even your own energy levels. Which of these are you currently taking for granted or wasting by over-extending? How can you show more respect to your own time this week?

2. Oubaitori - The Four Trees

The word Oubaitori comes from the kanji for the four trees that bloom in spring: Cherry, Plum, Peach, and Apricot. Each blooms in its own time and in its own way. Your timing isn't a failure; it’s part of your own unique landscape.

• The Prompt: Where are you currently comparing your business or your child’s progress to someone else’s bloom? Write about one way your current season is exactly where it needs to be, regardless of what the tree next to you is doing.

3. Nemawashi - Preparing the Soil

In Japanese business, Nemawashi is the quiet, informal process of laying the groundwork and building consensus before a formal change or meeting takes place.

• The Prompt: Think of a difficult conversation or a big project coming up. What is the quiet work you can do today, the informal email, the nervous system regulation, the research, to prepare the soil so the eventual planting goes smoothly?

4. Chisoku - To Know Enough

Chisoku is the practice of being content with what one has. It’s the antidote to the hustle culture that tells us we always need more clients, more followers, or more data.

• The Prompt: If you were to decide that your current output or your current progress is enough for today, what would that allow you to let go of? Describe the physical feeling of deciding that enough has been reached.

5. Shoshin - The Beginner’s Mind

Shoshin refers to having an attitude of openness and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when at an advanced level.

• The Prompt: Take a recurring problem in your business or a system you’re fighting. If you looked at it with zero prior knowledge or baggage, what is the most obvious, simple solution you might have missed because you’re too close to it?

6. Danshari - Refuse, Dispose, Detach

Similar to minimalism but deeper, Danshari is about clearing the physical and mental clutter that traps us in the past or in should-haves.

• The Prompt: Look at your To-Do list or your physical desk. What is one item you are holding onto out of a sense of obligation rather than utility? What would happen if you simply refused to carry it into next week?

7. Ganbaru - Patient Tenacity

Ganbaru is often translated as doing one’s best, but it more accurately means to stand firm or to persevere through a difficult time.

• The Prompt: Write about a responsibility you are currently standing firm on (like a long-term advocacy battle or a slow-growth business). Acknowledge that you aren’t failing because it isn’t finished; you are successfully persisting.

Final Thoughts

These prompts aren’t about mastering ancient philosophies; it is just about finding a small framework to help you carry the weight of today.

*Oubaitori is the concept I lean on most. It reminds me that no matter what’s going on around me, I have my own timing; my own rhythm. Respecting that energy and working with it often means everything gets done, but without the added stress and anxiety.

For moments outside of so-called busy time, Oubaitori is a reminder that everything happens for a reason, and in its own good time. I find that both humbling and inspiring.

Thanks for reading,

N x

Share Simply Nutmeg

Your journal is a place for the work in progress, not the polished final version.

After twenty years of writing for a living, I have learned that nothing is permanent until you hit publish (or send). And even then, there’s wiggle room.

In the professional writing world, we are conditioned to believe that words are for an audience. We polish, we edit, we delete, and we agonise over the final version before we allow anyone to see it. We wait until a thought is perfectly formed before we commit it to the screen. Anything less than perfection is a failure.

But when we apply that same pressure to our internal lives, especially when navigating the weight of caregiving, health issues, systemic pressure, or major life transitions, we end up silenced by our own high bar. We stop writing because we don’t know how to say it “properly.”

We are our harshest critic.

Your journal isn’t a complete manuscript. It is the one place where you are allowed to be a work in progress.

Enjoy the Experiment

In your journal, everything is a draft.

It is a common mistake to treat a notebook like a archive of your best self. We buy beautiful stationery and feel we must fill it with profound thoughts. But a journal isn’t a gallery; it is a lab. It is a place to run experiments on your own thoughts to see which ones are true and which ones are simply loud.

In this space, you are allowed to be contradictory. You can be furious on page four and forgiving on page five. You can write sentences that don’t have an ending, and paragraphs that don’t make sense. You can capture the “what if?” moments that are too frightening to say out loud, but too heavy to keep inside.

Spelling and grammar don’t matter here. Handwriting does not need to be pretty (when I write quickly, as many do when we get going, it looks like a spider fell in a pot of ink and ran across the page).

Experiment.

Be messy!

Finding Some Distance

In my studies of Narrative Therapy, there is a core belief: The person is not the problem; the problem is the problem. The page is the tool we use to find the distance between the two. When you write your fears down, they stop being a part of your identity and start being words on a piece of paper. You can look at them, move them around, or simply leave them there and walk away.

By treating your journal as a draft, you give yourself the mindful space to observe your life without the immediate need to fix it or edit it. You allow the messy reality of your experience to exist without judgement.

Take Back Your Space

When you stop editing as you go, the pressure drops. You realise that journaling isn’t about the finished story, it’s about the distance you create between yourself and the problem.

It’s a deliberate pause. A chance to step out of your labels, the copywriter, the carer, the advocate, and simply be the observer. No noise, no “shoulds,” just the draft.

So, let your journal be messy. Let it be bitty. Let it be a place where you don’t have to have the answers yet.

This isn’t the final version of your life. It is just the draft you need to write today.

Final Thoughts

Exploring this kind of writing is what I do, but you don’t need an expert to start reaping the benefits of writing for yourself. You just need to give yourself permission to begin and enjoy the process, without trying to be perfect.

Thanks for reading,

Nicki x

Resources/Quotes

"The person is not the problem; the problem is the problem" - White, M. and Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. New York: Norton.

Writing a letter that you never intend to post is a quiet and powerful way to take back control. It is a way to claim your place in a conversation when you were dismissed, or to share something with someone no longer in your life.

I find this journaling exercise to be one of the most effective tools for reducing stress and gaining clarity. It offers a well-timed, deep exhale in a world that often demands we hold our breath or just let things go.

The Anatomy of the Unsent Letter

There are a great number of different situations in which the unsent letter is the perfect antidote to stress, anxiety and more.

• The Conversation That Went Sideways: We have all found ourselves in situations like these: leaving a meeting or a phone call feeling unheard and frustrated. Why is it that the perfect comeback only arrives three hours later while you are making a cup of tea? Write it down. All of it.
  

• Closure: A letter to the art teacher at high school who said, “Nicki - Everyone should take a creative subject but in your case, we should probably make an exception”. - An oddly specific example I may or may not have journaled about myself.
  

• Grief and Longing: Letters to those who have died or left. The things you wish you had said, the anger at being left behind, or simply sharing the mundane/everyday updates of a life they are no longer part of.
  

• The Love Letter to Yourself: To the version of you from ten years ago who was struggling, or to the you of next year. It is a way of witnessing your own growth.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. The Unsent Letter does not have to be a masterpiece. Spelling and grammar don’t matter. This is a piece of writing for you alone. It does not even have to be a letter to a person. Sometimes, it is a letter to “The Monday Morning” or “The System.”

Approach this as a free-writing exercise. If you are stuck, start with the prompt: “Right now, I really want to say…”

Why It Works

As with any good vent, “emptying your bucket” offers physical and mental benefits. When we keep these conversations looping in our heads, they stay active in our nervous systems. We stay braced for a fight that has already happened.

By physically moving those words onto paper, we are unclenching the mind. When you read your letter back, you often spot patterns you could not see while the thoughts were still inside you. You might realise you do not actually hate the job; you just hate the lack of boundaries. You might see that you are repeating a role you no longer want to play. It offers you a chance to react differently next time.

Safety Tip

Exercises like these can stir up buried emotions. If you feel flat or heavy afterwards, be prepared to sit with that. Give yourself time to process.

A crucial tip: If you choose to type your letter, do so in a Word or Google Doc and never in an email draft. The “Send” button is a dangerous neighbour to have when you are in the middle of a deep vent.

The Small (But Actually Quite Big) Announcement

As you can tell, I love to write about journaling, wellbeing, quiet intentional living and mindfulness. These have played a leading role in my life for many years. Some of you already know, and others probably won’t be surprised to hear that I am launching my (non-clinical) journal therapy practice in the near future.

While I have been helping small businesses find their voice through my copywriting business for twenty years, my heart has been pulling me toward a different kind of writing. This has been a long-time ambition: to help others use writing as a tool for wellbeing, identity, and peace.

I am currently putting the finishing touches on some additional specialised courses. These include Narrative Therapy, Bibliotherapy and mindfulness practices. I want to ensure that what I offer is a truly professional, safe, and enriching experience.

There will be more info coming soon about what this looks like, and what is occurring with the copywriting side of my world. For now, thank you for being here.

Simply Nutmeg will still be a place for quiet reflection. If you want to read more of my posts around journaling, wellbeing, mindfulness, intentional living and more, please subscribe (always free) to make sure you don’t miss anything.

Subscribe now

Back to the Unsent Letter

A journal prompt: This week, find twenty quiet, uninterrupted minutes. Pick one person or situation that is currently taking up too much room in your head, and write them/it a letter.

Do not edit. Do not censor yourself. And certainly, do not click send.

How do you feel once you’ve got it all “out”. Reading back over your letter, do you notice anything interesting?

Enjoy this week’s journal prompt and if you want to let me know how you got on with it, feel free to email me, message or leave a comment below.

Have a wonderful week,
Nicki x

Share

*Apologies in advance for all building-related metaphors.

We have a habit of looking for the finish line before we’ve found our stride. We keep our eyes on the prize, waiting for the moment when the renovation is complete, the career has shifted, or the garden is in full bloom.

We forget all the “before” work that builds up to the finished project.

The out-of-sight work

I spotted the bud in the photo above on a walk in North Yorkshire earlier this week. It is tempting to see only the surface finished thing, but it is actually a very patient bit of biological engineering. That plant didn’t rush, it spent months in the cold, doing the invisible work of holding its ground. The structure had to come first.

Forgetting my own advice (I’m only human)

I’ve had to give myself a bit of a telling off this week. I am currently up to my eyeballs in training and several different projects related to some big shifts in my own life. I realised I was focusing so hard on the end goal that I’d started to sideline the very work that makes the goal possible. I was rushing the “bloom” and ignoring the core, out-of-sight maintenance that has to come first.

It was a reminder that even when we know the theory, sometimes we need to take a minute to be mindful of what we’re doing and refocus.

Trusting the quiet work

When we are in the middle of a long project or a difficult life transition, we often mistake the weight of it for failure. We think if we haven’t reached the end yet, we must be doing something wrong. But often, we are just in the necessary phase of building the frame.

• Acknowledge the maintenance.
  Focus on the mechanics. Whether you are building a business, a book, or a new way of being, the daily showing up and the incremental planning are the work. They aren’t obstacles to the goal; they are the goal.

• Lower the volume.
  When the urge to rush hits, pull back to the immediate, physical task. What is the one practical thing you can do today? One email. One paragraph. Clearing one corner of a desk.

• Trust the pace.
  Nature doesn’t perform for an audience, and your progress doesn’t have to either. Slow and steady is the only way to build something that doesn’t fall over when the weather changes.

Most of us have seen the “work beneath the tip of the iceberg” memes over the years. This is the same thing. Everyone else sees the top of the mountain or the finished product. We know that a lot goes on underground that others don’t see.

If you are navigating a project or a personal situation that feels stalled, remember that the strength is in the building, not just the finishing. Stick with the structural work. The rest tends to take care of itself.

A practical, real life example….

End goal: Become a qualified astrofizzlesist (something my eldest said when younger).

The projected steps:

1. Qualifications 1, 2, and 3

2. Mentor programme: work with Mrs MoodRing for 6 months “on the job”

3. Publish works: need three published papers

4. Apply to Astrofizzlesist programme

If you focus on the end goal and spend time looking at website themes for your Astrofizzlesist website, you’ll never be a qualified Astrofizzlesist. Don’t focus on the published papers just yet. Do the core work. Finish that first course. What you’ll learn or build there will carry on to the next step. This is all about building strong foundations.

The immediate work: Finish course 1.

• Module 1: Read chapters 2-4 and complete assignment.

• Module 2: Complete assignment and create case study.

• Module 3: Final assignment.

It is the same process as the bud in the cold. This quiet, repetitive work isn’t for show, but it is what ensures success. You are building the invisible foundations, in this case, knowledge and experience, that everything else will eventually rest upon.

Enjoy and acknowledge the slow build. You’ll be grateful for it later.

An exercise

This can be one for your journal, or just a piece of paper.

If you are working on something right now, write down that end goal. Now work backwards. List the things that need to go into that completed goal.

Take a minute and give yourself credit for the small, consistent work you’ve already completed. The “parts” that you’ve already built.

I’d love to know, what is one small piece of structural work you are tending to right now?

Leave a comment

Thanks for reading,
Nicki x

One word, and one breath, at a time.

I have a shorter post for you today, shorter than usual, to mark the first of the month and give you a week of mindfulness-focused exercises and prompts to help you.

What order you do these in, how many you do, or if you do any at all is up to you. They are simply here as a tool, and an opportunity to practice mindfulness and find a little extra joy in your day.

These can be practical exercise or (and) journal prompts. I’ll leave that to you.

Here’s to a fresh, bright and happy April.

• April 1: Look at your hands and name three things they have helped you create or care for today.
  

• April 2: If your mood today was a type of April weather, what would it be? Is there a breeze, a spring storm, or a sudden patch of blue sky and sun? Maybe, in true April weather tradition, it’s been a mix of weathers/moods.
  

• April 3: Drink your morning tea or coffee in total silence for two minutes. Notice the weight of the cup or mug and the way the steam feels against your face. Take a sip and savour the taste. How does it feel to slow down and enjoy the little details of daily life?
  

• April 4: Write down one thing you are “pruning” from your life this month to make room for new growth. Why is it time to let this branch go? What new growth are you hoping will begin?
  

• April 5: What is the simplest joy you’ve encountered today? Write it down in exactly seven words. Why seven? It makes you really stop and think. Once you’ve done that, continue writing about the experience if you are inspired to.
  

• April 6: Look at your to-do list and cross off one thing that doesn’t actually need to happen today. Breathe into the space you just made. How will you fill it. Do you need to fill it at all?
  

April 7: Write a thank you note to a part of your body that you usually ignore. What has it carried for you today? How has it served you. For example, your feet carried you on your walk.

Reflect on this week. What was the most beautiful thing you noticed because you chose to slow down?

Thanks again for reading,

Nicki x
One word, one breath, at a time.

Hello, I’m Nicki Cawood - Writer, mindfulness advocate, and storyteller of twenty years, based in the loveliness of North Yorkshire, UK. You can receive my weekly reflections on attentive writing, journal prompts, practical mindfulness, and the simple joy (and humour) found in an ordinary life by subscribing for free.

There is so much to notice when we slow down. I’d love to share the view with you, one word and one breath at a time. 🌱

We’ve just crossed the threshold of the Spring Equinox, that rare moment of perfect balance between light and shadow. While once I would usually be decluttering and spring cleaning, in recent years I’ve moved more towards removing the dust that gathers in the corners of my mind over a long winter.

This week, instead of a physical spring clean, I’m inviting you to a mental one.

There is no pressure here: pick the one prompt that speaks to you, try all five, or simply keep them in the back of your mind as you move through your days.

1. The Winter Residue

What is one thought, worry, or “story” you’ve been telling yourself since January that now feels heavy or outdated? If you were to open a window in your mind today, what is the first thing you’d let the breeze carry away?

2. The Unearthing

In the garden, the first shoots are often a surprise. What is a small, quiet talent or interest you’ve noticed pushing through the soil recently? Something you didn’t realise was growing until the light changed.

3. The Balance Scan

At the Equinox, day and night are equal. In your own life right now, where is the imbalance? Are you leaning too far into doing and neglecting being? Write about what equal light could look like in your daily schedule.

4. Clearing the View

If your mind was a window, what is currently blurring the glass? Is it digital clutter, a lingering resentment, or a “should” that doesn’t belong to you? Describe what it would feel like to see your path clearly this Spring.

5. The Fresh Seed

If you were to plant one intention this week, not a goal, but a feeling or a way of being, what would it be? How can you tend to that seedling with just five minutes or ten of quiet attention each day?

Share

I’ve really enjoyed these types of mental spring clearing prompts in the past, and am revisiting them this week.

These prompts are just that. A starting point. I always suggest starting with one that jumps out at you. if your pen has more to write, let it keep going.

A note for the week: Journaling isn’t about getting it “right” or filling pages for the sake of it. It’s about noticing. Listening to yourself. Having a good dig about in the back of the cupboard to see what treasures are there (or rubbish that needs discarding). I hope these journal prompts bring you joy.

I’d love to know which of these prompts sit best with you today, or perhaps what you’re most looking forward to starting or unearthing this season. Please do leave a comment below or reply to this email to share your thoughts.

Wishing you a balanced and dust-free week,

Nicki x

This month (Feb ‘26) I finished my History and Culture of Japan Diploma. This was a fascinating course for so many reasons.

Japanese-themed Journaling Prompts

As much of the content and additional reading is firmly in the front of my mind, I thought I’d use some Japanese culture-inspired philosophies as the basis for this month’s journaling prompts.

I’ve adapted these Japanese concepts into 9 simple prompts to help navigate the shifting energy of March. They aren’t meant to be perfect translations, but are aimed at helping you think and feel your way through March in a different way

Japanese Wisdom for a Thoughtful March

Use these prompts in any order on whichever day you feel drawn to one of them. These are a starting point. If you have more to write, keep on writing.

1. Ma - The Space Between: Look at your calendar for tomorrow. Where is the “empty” space? If there is none, what is one 5 or 10-minute gap you can fiercely protect just to sit in silence?
   

2. Kintsugi - The Repair: In Japan, broken pottery may be mended with gold lacquer, making the repair a beautiful part of its history. Think of a recent mistake or 'break.' If you saw the lesson as gold filling the crack, what does the stronger, mended version of you look like?
   

3. Wabi-sabi - Honest Imperfection: Look around you. Find one thing that is worn, unfinished, or imperfect. What is one reason you can appreciate it exactly as it is?
   

4. Mono no aware - The Bittersweet: What is one thing you are currently “letting go” of to make room for what’s next? How does that departure feel in your chest?
   

5. Shikata ga nai - Acceptance: What is a situation you are currently fighting that you actually have zero control over? Finish your journaling with the words: “It cannot be helped,” and notice if your shoulders drop.
   

6. Kaizen - The 1% Shift: In Japan, Kaizen is the art of making tiny, 1% improvements rather than huge, exhausting changes. What is one seemingly unassuming shift you can make to your rest today that feels almost too small to count? (e.g., putting your phone in another room or dimming a light)
   

7. Gaman - Quiet Endurance: What is a difficulty you are currently carrying with dignity? Acknowledge the weight of it. You are doing a hard thing; give yourself credit for simply standing your ground.
   

8. Ikigai - The Small “Why”: Think about one small, sensory detail in your day that makes life feel quietly good right now? (The weight of a ceramic mug in your hands, the way a specific candle smells, or the silence after everyone else has gone to sleep). Write about that one moment of simple, uncomplicated contentment
   

9. Yugen/Yuugen - The Subtle Beauty: Describe a small, quiet moment from today that most people would have missed. What about it made you stop and notice?

   
   

This is just a small glimpse into a very deep culture. There is so much more to discover if you’re interested in the history behind these words. Here on Substack I suggested you visit Wabi Sabi Life - The Substack from which offers beautiful perspectives.

Always Learning

If you were wondering which course I took, it was the Introduction to Japanese History and Culture Diploma through the Centre For Excellence.

If you want to talk share your thoughts, writing or anything else, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Here’s to a thoughtful and fulfilling March 2026.

Nicki x

Leave a comment

I’m often told, “You should write a book about that, Nicki!” - But I won’t. I can’t. Not because of an NDA, or any reason other than respect.

One of the hardest things about creative non-fiction is writing about things that directly affected you at some point, without telling someone else’s story.

Telling your truth without involving theirs means doing so without context.

Respecting their privacy while acknowledging your specific struggles, especially as they weren’t directly or indirectly responsible for any of it, is a near-impossible thing.

I’m sure there are ways around it, if you’re clever enough. Writing under another name? Changing your story into a fictional representation? If, however, I was to write such a book, I could only do so as me. It would be written authentically, warts and all, and would (hopefully) be something that others could connect with.

Despite the mysterious whisper of some past drama, I don’t have any dark secrets in the back of my closet, and all is well. I’m not hiding the bad behaviour of people who should be called out and nothing illegal or immoral has occurred.

I simply wish, sometimes, I could find a way to articulate certain things without telling other people’s truth.

So Where Does The Story Go?

I keep these outpourings for Agnes, my journal.

Writing about your struggles can make you incredibly vulnerable but it can also help you build a strong foundation to forgive, to heal and to grow.

This is why journaling, for me, is so much more than a writing exercise or a relaxing hobby.

Writers - Have you ever found yourself in this position? Having something real you want to write about but you genuinely can’t because that isn’t who you are?

It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?

Warmest wishes and ta muchly for reading,

Nicki x

January has been a journey of letting go of things that don’t serve me.

It has been a long and grateful exhale.

Instead of rushing to fill the void created by leaving (the committee), I’ve embraced the space. I’ve spent those precious hours reading, writing, with family, or simply being still.

In many way, January has been joyful. I’m exploring my creativity without agenda.
Rest is no longer a thing to be earned or squeezed in. Self-care isn’t a treat.

I’m respecting my own time and energy.

The difference in thirty days…. I have no words (yet) to articulate the transformation.

What I do know is that there isn’t a challenge, chart or habit tracker in sight………

I’ll leave this post short, because I don’t think anything else will add value to it.

I hope, reading this and looking back, you are happy with how your year has started. If not, what can we, your fiercely loyal Substack family do to help?
Or, tell us what’s going well. We love to celebrate with you.

Your takeaway from my post today:

Don’t underestimate the power and relief of a long and grateful exhale.

Warm wishes and ta muchly for reading.

Nicki x

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

It was 2021 and I was invited to speak on BBC Radio York as part of a segment on small businesses helping small businesses. Usually I say no to these things but the lockdowns were just over, businesses were struggling and I thought it was a good idea.

As a small business copywriter I had been surprisingly busy throughout the pandemic. The first “wave” meant businesses moved online where they could. This required new websites, web copy etc.

During the second wave I had an influx of employed professionals who had been forced to work from home, and decided they really rather liked it. This time it was helping brand new start-ups. A very humbling period and something I’m very grateful for.

I had a few very important points I wanted to make about the things businesses were struggling with.
That was the plan…….

Public speaking has never been a pleasurable experience for me. Give me a pen and paper and the words flow. Stick a mic in my face and my eloquence becomes limited to “Ummmm” and “Err, well…”.

I had 24 hours to prepare though, and being the stationery-loving, top-of-the-class type, I over-prepared. I’m talking colour coded cards. I’m talking preparation level 10.

And it all started so well.

I was told when I would be called. My cards were laid out. I had a glass of water (just in case) and I was ready. My allotted time arrived and I was talking with none other than the fabulous Joanita Musisi, a much loved BBC Radio York presenter.

I had a rough idea of the kinds of things I’d be asked and after a while my carefully penned cards were discarded and it all began to flow.

Then Joanita asked,

So, why would a business ask you to write about them? Surely they know their business better than anyone?

I could have talked about any number of reasons a small business would want someone else to write their copy. But instead I settled on:

Well Joanita, I don’t know about you but I’d rather write 2000 words on pile cream than create a 200 word bio for myself.

I’d got cocky.

Joanita let out a bellow of laughter that just kept going. She was hilarious but of course, that then set the tone for the remaining ten minutes or so.

I’d lost my place with the cards so just went with it.

Before long, my short stint on the radio was complete and I had survived it. Despite the change in direction I managed to get most of the points across I wanted to.

”HAHAHAHA Bloody hell, PILE CREAM?”

That was the first text message.

”Really Nicola (uh oh, my Sunday name), haemorrhoid cream??”

“Nicki Cawood, The Small Business Copywriter, proudly sponsored by Preparation H. LOL! You nugget”

And on it went.

Can I just mention at this point that throughout I had kept my umm-ing to a minimum. So there’s that!

The kids thought it was hilarious, as did their teachers, and everyone else they told. “My mum is a famous writer and she talked to the lady about bums on the radio”.

So, a little advice for any of you approaching your first radio appearance…

1) Be prepared
2) Use colour-coded cards as references
3) Have a glass of water nearby
4) Remember that no matter what insightful points you share, your friends, family and the business community at large will only remember that you talked to the lady about bum cream.

You are welcome. 😆

*Photo by Jonathan Velasquez on Unsplash